How to Connect with your Authentic Self
As a recovering people pleaser and chronic student I have always done what I thought would make other people happy or what I was told to do. I was always looking for the “right” answer rather than trying to figure out MY answer. I wasn’t checking in with myself to make sure I was being true to my authentic self and I didn’t even recognize it.
Especially in the social media age it’s too easy to get online and get trapped by “How are other people doing this?” Or “What is the BEST way to do this?”. It is not natural for me to think “How would I do this?”.
So what can we do about it? Intuition is energy. Being able to tap into that energy takes practice. For me, Yoga and meditation taught me how to sit with myself and quiet my mind to figure out who I am and what MY answers are. There are a lot of different options when it comes to types of yoga and meditation but the end goal is the same, tapping into the frequency of your inner self so you can learn to trust it instead of block it. Some examples of ways to do this are:
Guided Imagery
Mindfulness, Lovingkindness, or Compassion Meditation
Reflection/Journaling on previous experiences: when was your “gut” talking to you and did you listen?
Progressive relaxation
Abdominal/diaphragmatic breathing
Knowing your Values (more on this in a minute)
Being able to tap into your intuition has many health and emotional benefits. In the book Intuitive Development by Emmy Vadnais, OTR/L, she lists some benefits as:
Improve decision making
Enhance life and relationship skills
Improve health, healing, disease prevention, and wellness
Strengthen self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love, and self-acceptance
Augment compassion for self and others
Give meaning and purpose in all aspects of life
Provide calm and balance to anyone who experiences over-thinking, anxiety, depression, etc.
Aid with mental/emotional challenges
Set healthy boundaries
Stimulate creativity
Improve innovation and problem-solving
Back to knowing your Values. A worksheet was recommended to me that helped guide me through identifying some of the things that are most important to me. They broke down values into:
Embodied: these values are fully integrated and create the foundation of who you are
Core: these values are woven into your being. They are values you want to surround yourself with and focus your energies on. They still take some conscious thought to incorporate into your decisions.
Intentional: values you want to be a part of your future
The worksheet takes you through a few exercises in which you circle the words/definitions of values that resonate with you and identify categories. You go through a few questions and end up with your choices. For me, I identified my values as:
Embodied: Kindness, Family, Connection
Core: Adventure, Energy, Honesty, Love
Intentional: Authentic, Peace, Strength
After I identified them, I wrote them down and put them on my mirror where I would see them everyday. I make an effort to tap into these values when I make personal or professional decisions and in my interactions with others. I use them as a guide to check in with myself and make sure I am staying true to my authentic self.
When you know who you are and can align all of your actions with your beliefs, even when other people disagree, you can feel confident that what you are doing is right for you. 🤟
